Title: Jokes
Author: Butha Sunhous
IsNaughty: True
Price: 667
IsUnique: False
WhenVarSet: 
Content:


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[/center]Jokes



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[/center]

[/center] "How is your wife," asked Zalither. "She's in bed with
laryngitis," replied Harlyth. "Is that Argonian bastard
back in town again?"



[/center] "I keep seeing spots before my eyes." "Have you seen a
healer?" "No, just spots."



[/center] A big Nord named Julgen was set on by a gang of thieves. He
fought them furiously, but in the end, they beat him into
semiconsciousness. They searched his pockets and discovered
that he only had three gold pieces on him.

 "Do you mean to tell us you fought us like a mad lupe for
three lousy gold pieces?" sneered one of the thieves.

 "No," answered Julgen. "I was afraid you were after the
four hundred gold pieces in my boot."



[/center] During the War of Betony, the Bretons in the Isle of Craghold
were under siege for several days. After the island was
liberated, Lord Bridwell found the ruins of the castle where
a crowd of survivors were hidden away in the dark. It was
going to be a difficult job freeing them, as part of the
roof had collapsed trapping them all within. Bridwell
stuck his head in the only opening and shouted to the Bretons
below: "Are there any expectant mothers down there?"

 "It's hard to say, your Lordship," said a young woman.
"We've only been down here for a few days."



[/center] An elderly Breton met with an contemporary of his at a
guild meeting. "Harryston, old man, I wanted to express my
sympathy. I hear that you buried your wife last week."

 "Had to, old boy," replied Harryston. "Dead, you know."



[/center] Why was the Sentinel army so useless during the War of
Betony? The cannons were too heavy, so all three garbage
scows sunk.



[/center] What does a new Sentinel private learn first as a combat
technique? How to retreat.



[/center] What is the thinnest book in the world? Redguard Heroes of the
War of Betony.



[/center] A Dark Elf man killed his wife after catching her making love
with another man. When the magistrate asked him why he killed
her instead of her lover, the man replied, "I considered it
better to kill one woman than a different man every week."



[/center] A Dark Elf woman was being shown around Daggerfall. When she
was shown the magnificent Castle Daggerfall, she smiled
sweetly to her guild and whispered, "It reminds me of sex."

 "That's odd," said her guild. "Why does our Castle
Daggerfall remind you of sex?"

 The Dark Elf sighed, "Everything does."



[/center] Yelithah told Vathysah that she was having  dinner with a Dark
Elf named Morleth that night.

 "I hear he's an animal," said Vathysah. "He'll rip your
dress right off you."

 "Thank you for telling me," said Yelithah, "I'll be sure to
wear an old dress."



[/center] How do separate sailors in the Khajiiti navy? With a hammer
and tongs.



 "This orchard has sentimental value to me," said Mojhad, the
Khajiit, to his friend, Hasillid. "Under that tree, for
example, is where I first made love. And that tree, is where
her mother stood, watching us."

 "She watched you while you made love to her daughter?" said
Hasillid, clearly impressed. "Didn't she say anything?"

 "Meow."



[/center] What do you call a Wood Elf who doesn't lie or cheat or
steal?

 A dead Wood Elf.















 
