Title: Confessions of a Thief
Author: Anonymous
IsNaughty: False
Price: 695
IsUnique: False
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Content:


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[/center]Confessions

[/center]Of A

[/center]Thief



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[/center]     I'm a thief. Now, don't get me wrong. I ain't saying this
out of pride, but I ain't ashamed of my occupation neither.
Thieves got a perfect right to exist in the Empire. People
say we're dishonest. Of course, those people are usually
either merchants or priests, which really slays me. Sort of
the snake calling the worm legless.     Rulers like us. Crime
in moderation is good for the economy. The trick is to keep it
at a good even pace, with a well timed lull and a minor
wave to keep the fat bottoms from becoming compacent. Of
course, stupid, but talented thieves will keep stealing,
empty their pockets, and steal some more. This ain't good
for no one. That's where the guilds come in.     A thieves guild
is what they call a crime regulator. We protect each other
and punish the clumsy and greedy. The kings depend on us to
keep the amateurs out of business.     Yeah, occasionally, a
king will come down on us. I've even seen my Thieves
Guildmaster get himself stuck in prison once or twice. Some
cohort of mine said her first Guildmaster got himself hanged.
Then the Thieves Guild has to get foul on the king, and, let
someone who knows tell you, the results ain't pretty.     I
got into the guild, the way I've seen most thieves do it. It
was a few years back, when that bully Jagar Tharn was sitting
on the throne only everyone thought he was the Emperor. My
parents farm turned into eight acres of dust and rock, and
they threw me and my brothers out. I was always a skinny
thing, but by the time I made it to the closest town, I was a
good deal more skinnier.     Just cause the town had some dirt
that plants could grow on didn't make them that much richer
than my folks were. I tried to get all kinds of jobs, but the
hungrier and more raggedier I got, the quicker anyone who
might have work would kick me out. When the rainy season
finally came, it came like a sea, and I didn't have nowhere to
stay. Lucky I found the unlocked cellar door.     Turns out
that the owners of the house slept like old dogs, cause I
robbed them blind (and tripped into things like I was the
blind one) and they never woke up. I sold all the stuff at a
dirty pawners I knew and spent the next two days living like a
potentate. Then I got my first visit from the local thieves
guild.     I remember what the guy looked like, but not
exactly what he said. Something like, "Hey, kid, if you want to
steal in these parts, you're going to have to join the Guild.
Otherwise, I or someone like me is going to break your skinny
arms so you can't steal."     I've know some people who've
refused membership in the Guild and kept on stealing anyhow.
I've broken someone of their arms. As for me, this was the first
offer I'd had for a career since my pa told me that if I
didn't milk the cow, he'd rip my head off. In comparison, this
guy at the tavern was almost a gentleman. I agreed right
away.     Sure, I had to prove my worth to the Guild before I
could join and even now. But having two working arms is only
part of the benefit. They trained me, taught me, and kept me
out of prison. How many other guilds can boast a forgery
expert on the premises?     So the next time you're calling
some swindling merchant or usurious priest a thief, think
about it. There is honor among thieves -- I should know. 

     







 
