Title: Fools' Ebony, Part the Fiveth
Author: Frincheps
IsNaughty: True
Price: 317
IsUnique: False
WhenVarSet: 
Content:


[/font=2]

[/center]Fools' Ebony

[/center]Part The

[/center]Fiveth



[/font=4]



[/center]

 Dramatis Personae

 Prologue The Adventurer, A Dark Elf Rascal Komon, A Priest
of Akatosh Lheban, Another Priest of Akatosh Epilogue Stete, A
Priest of Julianos Raic, Another Priest of Julianos Shub, A
Mage Shub, A Different Mage of the Same Name Nephron, A
Somewhat Sleazy Merchant 5 Armorers Ortho Crunn, Husband of
Millie A Lusty Contessa Millie, Innkeep and Philosopher
Gurnsey, Bovine Wench Assorted Wenches and Cads of the
Taverns Soldiers Dwarves Giants



 Part The Fiveth - Back With The Priests, Final                  
Plans, and a Killing or Two


  is Reported...          Nearer the middle of the Month of
Frostfall, The Inn of the Pink Nymph.    (Enter Prologue, the
Adventurer, Ortho, Nephron, the Five Armorers, and
Prologue)

 Prologue:   Our roguish Dark Elf, the Adventurer has            
plummeted before our stunned eyes, from


    the king of the spider web of intrigue


    to a pathetic, crawling lump of Argonian


    excrement. In the quest for Fools'


    Ebony, that substance that all would kill


    for, the Adventurer attempted to play


    Mage against Priest with the help of the


    merchant Nephron. Alas, that is to say,


    alackaday, the five armorers have trapped


    Nephron and the Adventurer and taken over


    their scheme. The hulking Ortho now


    watches the Adventurer's every move. But


    I get the feeling -- to be honest, don't


    you? -- that beneath the Adventurer's


    defeated quivering jelly lurks a jungle


    cat of such cunning and resource to


    shatter all his enemies when the time is


    right. Of course, I could be wrong. Ah,


    I see one of the priests of Akatosh who


    believes himself a friend of the


    Adventurer. I, Prologue must away.

 (Exit Prologue) (Enter Lheban, a Priest of Akatosh.)

 Lheban:     Evening there, mind if I join you?

 Adventurer: Well ... since you already have - no.            
And where is our esteemed brother


    Komon this chill evening?

 Lheban:     You mean you haven't heard -- Oh, I             guess
you have been busy with the ...


    preparations?

 Adventurer: Right, right, very busy...

 Lheban:     Then let me tell you -- Oh, what a bad            
business. What trouble ... Oh Dear ...             Well ... you
doubtless recall that poor


    Komon had this ... er ... problem --             overwork of
course!

 Adventurer: Oh yes -- you fellows do work exceeding            
hard, seems to me.

 Lheban:     Well ... recall how Komon left, somewhat            
erratically as it were, and ... er ...             made off with
that young blondie under             the lamppost outside?
Well -- in his ...             er ... state of confusion -- he
grabbed             the wrong blondie - Oh My, indeed the


    wrong one ...

 Adventurer: They all look pretty much the same to me,           
 but of course, I do not look too hard!

 Lheban:     Oh My! Well, to cut a short tale to the            
bone, old Komon grabbed a Contessa, who             had thought
to 'disguise herself.' Oh             Dear!       Adventurer: Well
-- did she get away?  Did they catch             Komon? What
happened?

 Lheban:     Well, old Komon, tipsy as he was, was            
quick as spit in a gale. Eluded all             pursuit, took
the lady to a small private


    ... retreat house that we have.  Oh Dear


    Me! Well, the City Guards, Palace guards,


    half a dozen Royals, all caught up with


    Komon 3 days later. One day too late for


    the poor Contessa -- I hear that they had


    a hard time locating all the ... er ...


    bits and pieces. Komon was there, passed


    out cold. And another body, some common


    blond lamppost girl. And by now he is cold


    -- permanently, most likely at the bottom             of the
Bay.

 Adventurer: Oh well. Serves the Contessa right, coming        
    down to this area. But I suppose that


    there are repercussions?

 <Enter two more Priests, Raic and Stete of Julianos, and
four armed City Guards.)

 Raic:       Evening, Lheban. Evening, Adventurer. And --

 Ortho:      Me am Ortho.

 Raic:       Yesss. Charmed. And Lheban, you indeed have           
 my sympathies ... if there is anything we can


    do to help -- our Temple of Julianos, that


    is ..?  But really, you should have kept             Komon
on a tighter leash - or preferably a             noose!

 Adventurer: Hello Raic. And hello to you, Stete - how's        
    your sister?

 Stete:      Oh, she's great.

 (Raic sets Stete on fire, but it goes out)

 Lheban:     Yes, I know I know. Oh the repercussions! Do           
 you know that the Priests of Akatosh to             Daggerfall
Castle, Wayrest Palace and just             about everywhere
else have all been thrown out?             That the Royal tax
exemption for the Chantry


    has been revoked? That the Akatosh Chantry has             
just received a 'past due taxes' bill? Oh My!

 Adventurer: Well ... I suppose that we could help
somewhat,             maybe? Maybe a small loan from Julianos
for             that tax bill? With, say, a Temple as security? 
           Oh -- are not the taxes based on the number of             
the Priests of Akatosh? So, maybe ... the School


    of Julianos could take over a ... significant


    number?  Reduce your tax bill? You realize that           
  this is not the best time for this -- just as


    we need a lot of funds for that expedition that            
I am arranging for you.

 Lheban:     Oh, I am so sorry about Komon! But, yes, maybe     
       if good brother Raic could -- I hate to say             this
-- take over a greater share of the


    financial burden ..? In return, of course, for            
... er ... considerations ..?

 Raic:       Hmm. Like a good number of 'permanently' loaned    
        priests? A long look at your books? At your


    cellar?  Your name-lists? A Temple as security


    on our loan? And, of course, a bigger cut in


    the proceeds of this ... expedition? Names of


    your ... er ... suppliers ..?

 Lheban:     Oh. I foresaw something like this, talked a bit       
     about it with old Mucky-Muck - livid, he was.


    But, as I am a Senior Brother, he finally            
authorized me to 'take care of it.' Those             weren't his
exact words, mind you, which were


    quite a bit ...longer, more explicit ... but            
the gist, at least.

 Adventurer: Of course, Lheban. If -- and note I say 'if' --    
        if we are successful, why then you can easily            
get back into good graces at the Palace. Merely            
sell them the goods, as a good low rate! With             first
refusal on any shipment you have?  What's             one
Contessa to them, anyway?

 Lheban:     Yes, yes! That could work!  Worth a try. But        
    how? Royals will not talk to anyone from


    the Akatosh Chantry now.

 Adventurer: Leave that to me, I can make ... approaches to   
         certain ones. Yes, I can probably persuade            
them to let up on the Chantry, in return for


    ... future favors ...

 Lheban:     Oh, Oh how can I thank you?

 Adventurer: Well, I need a fair amount of gold to finish     
       setting up my little trip. Maybe 10,000?            
Special horses, reinforced carts, cartiers,


    guards ... the list goes on and on. And the             cost
of keeping our little trip quiet is             really quite
high.

 Lheban:     Well, yes, we can afford it, I guess -- you           
 do have the map now, don't you? I know we


    can afford 8,000 gold. Given the potential


    profits ...

 Adventurer: Rest easy! - it's all here in my cloak --            
show you in a bit. I've also managed to ...


    hire some good young hefty fellows, like old


    Ortho here, to manage the carts, dig and             load,
act as guards, and so on ...

 Lheban:     Good, good - I can relax a bit. Oh my, the            
fellows back at the Chantry will be so             relieved. We
really owe you, the Brotherhood             does -- Oh, I mean the
Akatosh Chantry, of             course!

 Stete:      Brotherhood ..? What about our sisterhood, eh?

 (Raic grapples Stete, allowing Lheban to hit Stete with a
large mallet)

 Adventurer:  Well, Raic, what about you and the School?     
        How much are you good for, the extra 2000?


     And maybe some more - always lots of last             
minute expenses on a trip like this, you know.

 Raic:        Well now. Since we seem to getting a whole           
  extra sect of Priests, and ... other


     considerations ... Certainly!

 Adventurer:  Well, gentlemen -- Oh, and Stete -- here it        
     is!

 (The Adventurer pulls out a map, gives it to Raic)




     Oh, by the Arms of Zenithar, did I ever have              to
work hard for this! Those cagey Mages! But,              in the
end, just greedy old fools! ... Oh,              just in case
you or your, er, Head Priest,


     hasn't seen the goods -- here's a sample.              Play
with it.

 (The Adventurer hands Raic a small leather bag)

 Raic:        Thank you, thank you. I must admit, I had             
some ... well, some doubts. You know --              dealing
with a stranger, so on ... No more.              Partner!

 Adventurer:  Good, good!

 (Stete hiccoughs)

 Stete:       Say, you fellows ever hear this one --             
what's a Priest keep under his robe? Haha


     -- His sister! Haheheha!

 (The Adventurer, Lheban, and Raic beat Stete into
unconsciousness)

 Raic:       You know, I fear that we really have to             do
something about young Stete here ...


    his sister thing ... ugh!    Adventurer: Yes, he could be
another Komon -- just             what don't need!

 Lheban:     Hmmmm. This sister of his -- does she             really
-- exist?

 Raic:       Oh yes. My. Oh yes. We know her well --             I
mean, we have often seen her ...

 Lheban:     I think, Brother, that she should be             made to
see the errors of her ways. So


    she is no longer an influence on


    Stete ...

 Raic:       Yes, most certainly ... Hmmm ...

 Lheban:     A somewhat Dibelytical theological             point
-- Oh, please excuse the technical             discussion here -
Raic, if we are to             make her see the errors -- well, how


    shall I put it -- we first have to know


    just what the ... ways ... are, correct?

 Raic:       Indeed, an astute observation! Hmmm ...             so
you are suggesting that ... in a nut,


    we should first determine her ... ways,


    so as to be able to then show her the


    ... er ... errors?

 Lheban:     Precisely! Mind you, a difficult,            
ardous, tiring project, I fear. One that             will take
all our ... will and energy.

 Raic:       Hmmm, true. But challenging, eh? Take             all
our time - but then, we shall have             some time, while
friend the Adventurer


    here is off hauling and carting.

 Lheban:     And ... I personally, would feel far            
safer if we were ... in retreat maybe.


    Studying the ways ..?

 Adventurer: Yeah -- be a good idea for you two to,            
maybe, disappear? For a while, of course.             Cut down
on the chances of a ... rival             faction catching on?
Or catching you?

 Raic:       Very well! Lheban, why don't you and I            
take his sister off with us on a ...


    theological retreat, as it were? Study             the ways
in details, and so on ...

 Lheban:     We could go to that unused little            
Temple, up on that shoulder of Edward's             Mountain
... out of the way, quiet ...

 Raic:       Door has locks ...

 Lheban:     Thick walls ...

 Raic:       A big cellar ...

 Lheban:     Good! It's settled then. A theological            
retreat! Oh goody!

 Raic:       Of course, once we know the ... er ...             ways
in detail, we can of course tell             old High Mucky-Muck,
and let him take care              of the ... er ... showing of the
errors ..?             Yes, that would improve his mood quite a


    bit ...

 Lheban:     Then it's agreed. Let's start, say, day            
after tomorrow?

 Raic:       Yes! Adventurer, why don't I meet you at,            
oh, that horrid ugly statue of ... what


    on Tamriel is it? - a harpy and a gargoyle?             
Called something silly like 'Vendigao and


    Her Lover' or some such? Up in the north


    west corner of the town. Oh, and can I


    keep the map?

 Adventurer: Sure, keep it, I have a copy. And you will        
    pass me a small bag, there at that nasty


    statue?

 Raic:       Have it all ready for you -- say, ten            
o'clock sharp? Oh, Lheban, another


    thought about young Stete here. He really             needs
some ... seasoning in the field,             one might say ...?

 Lheban:     Hmmm. Good point ... I know! The priest            
who handles field assignments is coming             by
tomorrow. We could arrange an ...             educational ...
assignment for Stete?

 Raic:       Very good! But where ... hmmm ...             Winter's
coming soon now. There's a


    vacancy up in Solitude, far north Skyrim,


    I believe. Night collections at street            
corners, or some such. Very Good! Come on,             Lheban.
We have accounts to work on. Good             night to you then,
Adventurer.  Ten             tomorrow morning!        (Lheban,
Raic rise to leave, picking up Stete)

 Lheban and Raic (Together): ... have to arrange some
supplies ...             ... leather, rope ... holy wine ....     
       ... lots of that pink powder ... I


    prefer the green, myself ...

 (Exeunt Lheban, Raic dragging Stete, and City Guard)

 Nephron:    Well?

 Adventurer: Excellent. Went just as I said it would.          
  Got 5000 gold from them. And, thanks to             your work
with that Contessa ... we have              the screws on the
Chantry. And the School


    of Julianos is going to be ... otherwise


    engaged ... on a theological retreat.


    More like a Sanguine retreat!

 Nephron:    And those Mages Shub and Shub seem to             have
disappeared ...

 Adventurer: So we are set?

 Nephron:    Yes, you can come by my warehouse            
tomorrow afternoon. Have the heavy carts             waiting.

 Ortho:      And Ortho ...

 Nephron:    Oh yes, must not forget you fellows.             How
kind of you to ... volunteer your


    services ...

 Adventurer: Tomorrow, then!

 (Exeunt omnes) (Last person to leave looks just like a Royal
in disguise ...) (Enter Epilogue)

 Epilogue:   Well, we only have one part left to this            
play and I've run out counting the number


    of loose strings. Either Part the Sixth


    is going to be eight hours long, or we're


    going to leave some parts unsolved. I for


    one hope that they don't chose to drop


    the character of the Wanton Contessa. For


    Jephre's sake, she's been on the Dramatis


    Personae since Part the Oneth. Ah, well.


    Nobody leave your seat. Your gold will


    not be refunded. Any gold you can spare


    to tip your friendly wenches will be


    greatly appreciated. We just have a quick


    costume change and a set to put together


    and we'll be back. In the meanwhile, enjoy


    our bard's rendition of the Nordic classic


    "Alas, The Fleeting Years Glide By."



                     So Endeth Part The Five

 
